Shawty said the nigga that she wit aint s^&t (c) Lil Wayne

So, I know a person who was debating on whether or not she should make the line 'shawty said the nigga that she wit ain't ish' in that Lil Wayne Lollipop song the ring tone for her....<------ jury's still out on his title, but I guess I'll just go with 'significant other' for the sake of this story. Which is in fact what prompted me to write this rant/blog. I was baffled... If you KNOW the nigga ain't ish... like you are aware enough to make the part of the song detailing the ain't ish nigga the ring tone for the nigga that you are with... then what does that make you? I'm gonna break it down middle school math style for you (so what, I was a mathlete, don't judge... I used to rep my set hard son whaaa whaaaa).

By the Transitive Property...
a=b
b=c
THEN
a=c

so if a= you, b= nigga, and c=ish

you=nigga (since you're with him)
nigga=ish
you=ish

I mean I can only empathize so much. Now don't get me wrong, I know their are several women out there that genuinely don't know that they are devoted to ain't ish niggas... and I am sympathetic to those of you out there that are in that situation. HOWEVER, to the girls (not women) out there that are well aware that they are with an ain't ish nigga, 'You need to start taking responsibility for your miserable life' (c) Katt Williams. If you know that the nigga is a no good, ain't worth nuffin sack of ish and you're STILL with him... 'She don't love herself' (c) Brenda. Yup, Brenda from Scary Movie said it best and this is what everyone is gonna be thinking when they see your weak @$$ with that obviously 'wiggedy wiggedy wack' (c) Kriss Kross ain't ish nigga. So have some respect for yourself... No seriously, FIND SOME ASAP... because if you did respect yourself clearly you wouldn't be wasting your time or energy on an individual who you blatantly know isn't worth it. Just ask yourself this simple question.... Why fight this battle when you gain absolutely NOTHING from winning it?

When you say teenage, how old are we talkin? (c) Kelzzzz

IS THIS NIGGA SERIOUS!? Upon the first ten seconds of watching I KNEW that this was an SNL skit of some sort... I was waiting for Tina Fey to immediately follow this 'interview' discussing Russia, foreign policy, or something like that... but I was sadly mistaken. After being subjected to this mess, I have concluded that Huey said it best when he stated... 'You wanna help R.Kelly? Then get some COUNSELING FOR R. KELLY...' This dude is clearly a few fries short of a happy meal.

This is the last call, for the jump-off express (c) Phonte'

Coon's status...'Face it, every man's girl at one point in time has been another man's jump-off'

Me: I disagree with ur status
Coon: lol...on what grounds?
Me: It doesn't apply to me haha. Hence, I am the flaw in your argument
Me: Hahahaha
Coon: lol...when it comes to you i'd bet money on the fact that my status doesn't apply... but for others sometimes the jumpoff doesn't know she's the jumpoff
Coon: (attempts to argue with a future lawyer, lol)
Coon: aight well, maybe not the jumpoff, but she's at least in some other nigga's camera phone (c) corey holcomb, lol
Me: Hahahahahahahahaha. But what is the true definition of a jump-off?
Coon: any chic that gets a call around 12am for non emergency purposes, lol
Me: Ahhhhh haha
Me: But r u still the jump-off if you get the call and ignore em?
Coon: yeah, if u don't get jumped on
Coon: u can't possibly be a jump
Me: Cause I get calls all the time, but I don't act on em... lol
Me: I call those 'After 9' relationships
Me: If a nigga can't waste a couple daytime minutes on you...
Me: You're the jump-off, sowwie
Coon: damn, this status is causing an uproar
Coon: people hittin me up on facebook messenger pissed
Me: Ahhhhhh haha I love it
Coon: a couple sensitive niggas is on here like...thats not true. Oh nigga, when u go outta town for an extended amount of time, don't think yo boo is keepin it gully, lol
Me: That's cause deep down they know their girl fits in that jump-off category. They just don't wanna admit it
Coon: and its prolly a nigga who had sex with his girl within the first two days of knowing each other, lol
Me: Yeah, just tryin to convince himself that she's not a skank skeeza... Poor sap. You know how easy it was to hit. It wasn't cause you're 'special...' Come on nigga
Coon: i mean, i wifed a jumpoff, so a nigga does have experience, lol trust me, i'm qualified on this
Me: What happened as a result of this 'wifing?'
Coon: multiple std tests, lol
Coon: a mild threat of pregnancy
Coon: a negative test
Coon: a hint of relief
Coon: then singleness
Coon: lol
Me: Well I hope u learned the error of ur ways
Coon: oh, trust me, i have
Me: You must have a keen eye
Me: Hoes nowadays are even disguising themselves in the 'respectable woman' uniform
Coon: a keen eye, a stash of condoms, some spermicide, and a hint of luck
Me: You must stay strong, and be observant for the tell tale hoe signs
Coon: but see, i made the mistake
Coon: jumpoff came thru, and GTD'd (got the draws) second night
Coon: i thought it was me (c) bbd and ended up wifin her cuz i thought she was cool, lol

 

 

 

Put a lil T-Pain on my ish too... (c) JIGGA



Well after wasting two hours and some change of my life that I cannot get back watching the VMA's I had an epiphany. What did 99.9% of the songs and videos that were nominated and won have in common? NO, not that they were bad, even though that answer implies as well. A DAG ON SYNTHESIZER. I need one, and therefore since this is the only thing preventing me from achieving celebrity... I need to work on selling my body to attain one. However, as I dug deeper and tried to figure out how I could actually acquire a synthesizer I was baffled to find out that what I wanted wasn't a synthesizer at all... It's actually called an auto-tune device... Let me drop some knowledge so you all are not as ignorant as I was...


The auto tune device is an audio tool that uses a phase vocoder (a cool little thing that gives the pitch a digital type of effect) to perfect the pitch in both vocal and instrumental performances. So basically it's perfect for me because not only will this device correct my horrendous pitch imperfections, but it will also make me sound pseudo talented by adding a robot-like affect. LOOK OUT HOLLYWOOD, I'm getting one... Look for me on the VMA'S in '09 :) You should too... I mean all the cool kids are doing it. I know if you watched the VMA'S you saw Kanye's performace... He was representin for the auto tune SON! Rumor has it his new CD coming out some time in December is gonna be filled with abuse of the device, so get used to it... CAUSE THIS THING AIN'T GOIN NO WHERE!

Here's a link... READ MORE ABOUT IT, it really is kinda fascinating... ----> http://www.hometracked.com/2008/02/05/auto-tune-abuse-in-pop-music-10-examples/

PS Not even a auto tuner could help Rhianna's 'Disturbia' performance... but SHEEZ it was worth a shot, perhaps she should have researched the device for the occasion...

PSS BRITNEY SPEARS WON THREE AWARDS!?!?!? COME ON... I mean I understand MTV was trying to 'build Britney up' but hell, give that hoe ONE undeserving award... not THREE. If anything she shoulda got an award years ago for... I'm a SLAVEEEEEEEEEEEE for you. That video was hot *no homo*

Calllll meeeee... when ya need me.... We can doooo summmthinnnn (c) Tweet... or better yet, just hit me up on the net


onlinebootycall.com.... Sure it seems like a fake website a horny twelve year old boy would make up, but it's an actual up and running url. The creators of this site said lets skip the whole 'compatibility' spiel that they were trying to sell on eHarmony.com and go for the gusto! You lonely tonight? Need a quick fix to fill that huge void in your bed and no one in your phonebook is answering your 'Whatcha up to tonight?' texts... In a generation where everyone is used to having things NOW, onlinebootycall.com is the remedy for your dilemma. CHECK IT OUT... After all you did get the site from yours truly... Who am I to judge? ;-) Who am I kidding... I'm judging you already, that site is RIDICULOUS... lol

Freaky Chris! (c) Kwame Kilpatrick





9/12/02, 10:32pm, during trip to Washington, DC
Christine Beatty: Can I just come and lay down in your room until you get back?
Kwame Kilpatrick: Yes.

9/13/02, 9:02am (the next morning)
KK: They were right outside the door. They (the bodyguards) had to have heard everything...
CB: So we are officially busted! LOL
KK: LOL LOL! Damn that. Never busted. Busted is what you see! LOL. ...
CB: LOL, LOL. Damn, so they have to walk in before you conceed busted! LOL.
KK: Hell yeah. Walk in.

9/15/02, 3:38am (still in DC)
CB: I'm on my way to your room now. But by the time you get there I'll be sleep and it will be 5am!
KK: I got something for you.
CB: LOL. is that so? I'm in your room. Don't let Mike check it (reference to Mike Martin, a bodyguard). Are you in route or still hanging? What do you have for me?

9/25/2002, 6:56pm
CB: This is one of those little things I had to tell you. Last night when I was laying on your shoulder in the car and you held my face and sang whatever song it was, that felt so good. It was just one of those little moments when you just made me fall some more.

9/28/2002, 11:53pm
CB: Where are you now?
KK: At home waiting for all EP (executive protection officers) to leave. Where are you?
KK: At the residence inn in Madison hgts.

10/7/2002, 11:20pm
CB: OK, I’m feeling like I want another night like the most recent Saturday at the Residence Inn! You made me feel so damn good that night. As you can see I can’t let it go!...
KK: I feel that we can do that in WV just relax together. I need you soooo bad. I want to wake up in the morning and you are there. Make it happen. Love ya.

10/8/2002, 10:18am
KK: I’m fine. Need a break. I want to get out of town w/you. Check on resorts outside of Houston.

10/16/2002, 11:48pm
KK: I’ve been dreaming all day about having you all to myself for 3 days… relaxing, laughing, talking, sleeping and making love.

10/31/2002, 5:28pm
KK: I’ll feel better once I’m holding you.
CB: You didn’t say whether or not we are trying for some time tonight.
KK: Definitely. I’m getting a room. Damn that!
CB: LOL. Okie dokie.

4/8/2003, 8:55pm
CB: And, do you miss me, sexually?
KK: Hell yeah! You couldn’t tell. I want some more. Don’t sleep!

5/5/2003, midnight
KK: That’s the first time that I couldn’t fully seduce you. My game is off. LOL! Thanx for the conversation and the QT! Love you!
CB: LOL! Your game is way on baby! “you had me at hello!” Jerry McGuire 2000. LOL. I just didn’t want to get caught.

Sooo I dunno if you are familiar with the 'Kwame Kilpatrick Scandal' but I will do my darndest to catch you up...

I'm sure the text messages that you just read don't seem all that bad... Hey, you may be guilty of sending some skank skeeza text messages yourself, and I'm not judging... Ain't nuffin wrong wit it! In fact, these text messages should be considered private correspondence between a couple that was in love. The couple being Kwame Kilpatrick and his chief of staff Mrs. Christine Beatty. Oh, why don't they have the same last time do you ask? A couple this in love SURELY must be married, right? Oh indeed they were... But not to each other! Mr. Kilpatrick the Mayor of Detroit had a wife by the name of Carlita, who ALSO happened to be a sorority sister of said mistress Beatty... And get this... They ALL were long time friends... SCANDALOUS I know...

Ironically how this affair came to be known is only PART of the scandal. You see, in 2002 Mr. Kilpatrick's guard by the name of Harold Nelthrope became under investigation by internal affairs and decided he wasn't going to be the only one going down... So he decided out Mrs. Beatty and Kwame on their 'love'/raunch sessions. Not long after, Harold and the lead investigator Police Chief Gary Brown lost their jobs. Coincidence? I think not. The 'letting go' of these two employees resulted in a huge lawsuit against the city of Detroit for retaliatory firing. Under oath both Kwame and Christine denied their relationship.. That is until Brown and Nelthrope subpoenaed the text messages and began fighting for them to be admissible in court. Mr. Kilpatrick allegedly assaulted two deputies that were attempting to serve him this subpoena, which is what ultimately lead to ANOTHER court case. Nevertheless, the case involving Nelthrope, and Brown was 'ironically' settled... but the assault charges were still pending... Well, until now... WHAT WAS IN THOSE TEXT MESSAGES THAT WAS SO BAD THAT KWAME WAS WILLING TO BEAT DOWN SOME NIGGAS AND PAY ALMOST 9 MILLION TO KEEP THEM SIGHT UNSEEN? Oh just click here if you didn't get enough from the excerpts I've included... They are NOOOOO joke!


http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080429/NEWS01/80429056/0/NEWS01


Well, as of today Mr. Kilpatrick FINALLY resigned as the Mayor of Detroit. He is going to plead no contest to one felony assault charge in return for dropping a second assault charge. Due to this plea agreement he was sentenced to spend 120 days in jail... What is going on with him and Mrs. Beatty you ask? Well, Mrs. Beatty is now Ms. Beatty... yup her and her husband got a divorce. So are the two love birds who were obviously SO IN LOVE as documented in their text messages living together in joyous bliss? NOPE. THINK NOT. Mr. and Mrs. Kilpatrick are still together and Carlita has 'forgiven her husband.' Sorry Christine, but you shoulda known betta! He wasn't gon leave his wife!

I'm tired of bein a nigga, I need to upgrade (c) Marcel Glenn

Well, seeing as though I was going to write about the DNC (Democratic National Convention for all you remedial folk out there reading) today I couldn't help but incorporate my dear friend Marcel in the tag line. Wow this has been an amazing convention. I must say I am truly in awe watching history be made. I mean you can say what you want about Mr. B. Hussein Obama but I know in my 23 years on this Earth I have NEVER seen as many people in my immediate social circle as interested in politics as they are this election... And I was a Political Science major that was/am around uber politic lovin lames all the time (hey I'm one too so essentially I'm talking about myself as well :-p) so that says A LOT!

For some people seeing is believing, and Barack is making us as African-Americans take a look at ourselves and think 'Hey why CAN'T we be President?' which is an amazing feat. Now I am in no why shape or form stating that this is the first time that we as a race has posed ourselves this question, it's just the first time is history that attaining such a goal is remotely feasible...


But, enough about politics for today... I have to cut this discussion a little short because I have some things that I need to tend to. However, I shall leave you with a tune... An oldie but a goodie if I do say so myself that pretty much sums up my mood for today. Sure being the President is great, but power in the wrong hands can be a dangerous thing. It is one thing to have power, but what you do with said power is truly what dictates greatness. The Flobots address this topic in their song Handlebars... and I pretty much am in love with them so check out http://www.theflobots.com/. They are doing what I would love to do one day... Getting people engaged in civic involvement through music. I tip my hat to you flobots! :)


The Flobots... Handlebars video
http://nz.youtube.com/watch?v=afX6VYn48KE

I walk wit a waddle (c) Gorilla Zoe

Wow, 5 months later and it's time for my second post. Starting now, I will be wayyyyy more regular with this whole 'blog' thing. I just couldn't really think of anything in particular that I wanted to discuss... UNTIL NOW... I was once told that I should make my aim away messages into a novel, because they are so ridiculous... so that's what I'm gonna use this blog for, I hope you enjoy the random discussions I engage in with people coupled with my rants about; fashion, music, and the world in general....

The random convo for today between my brother and I goes something like this...
Me: http://www.kicksonfire.com/2008/06/11/factory-413-silver-supra-skytop/
Me: Scroll down and look at those supras
STLKID314: Dem hella tite
STLKID314: U finna get those
Me: Yeah
Me: I want them
STLKID314: Yea dem hella tite
STLKID314: I wish I had money....id buy a lot of clothes an stuff
Me: Me too
STLKID314: U have two jobs mia
Me: But I have bills
STLKID314: Yea dis is true....sell crack...yo next door neighbor is
STLKID314: I think ima start slangin dem rocks....gotta make dat money mane
Me: Haha, I'm supportive
Me: put me on
STLKID314: Yes sir....
STLKID314: Jus make sure u slick....don't wanna get caught by da boyz
Me: I'll be slick, don't you worry
STLKID314: Iight....cram da rocks in yo butt crack dat way nobody will eva find dem
Me: Why can't u cram da rocks in yo butt crack
Me: This is discrimination
STLKID314: Are you serious? Nigga that's gay.

...Hmmm now I don't know if this is an appropriate conversation I as a 23 year old should be having with my 19 year old brother, but hey. It's in the name of fashion right?


*Disclaimer* I am not 100% positive that my neighbor sells crack.... HOWEVER, I do see some tell tale signs of such antics ie... the token benz's and escalades randomly in the driveway after 11, and the fact that he owns a shoe store down the street from our home that is only open three hours a day and has had the same shoes in the display since I moved here practically a year ago. I'm just sayin, I watch 'Weeds' on Showtime every week and I know a 'cover up business' when I see one. Call me a judger if you want... I'm not judgin', I just want my cut, that's all. Help a strugglin fashionista out my nigga.

Enjoyyyyy ya self, it's a joyous occasion (c) Potzee

After much peer pressure I have decided to give in and give this whole blog thing a try - I know, I know peer pressure is bad but I didn't watch enough DARE commercials as a child I guess. I figure this will be a positive way to let out some frustrations and give my insight on things that are going on in the world. Those that know me know that I am random, therefore this blogs topics will vary from; politics, to music, to the new story line of the x-force comic book series. Those that don't know me, please try and bare with the ridiculousness that I rant about. I am an undiagnosed ADD case whose mind runs faster than Steve Nash when he hasn't taken his ritalin before a game.... Be honest, he has to be on SOMETHING... Just take a minute to think about it... Have you EVER seen that man walk? 'Go ahead, I'll wait...' (c) Katt Williams. Gots nothin? That's what I thought. Well, I guess that is all for now... Until next time. ENJOY! :)