It's been a long time/I shouldn't have left you/without a dope (blog) to step to (c) Aaliyah

So this week has been filled with CRAZINESS! It was my Founders Week... SHOUT OUT TO ALL MY SoRHOr's EEE-Yip! So things were a little nuts... I left the Chi to kick it with my sands/neos/friends and had a BALL! I also got to hang out with J (freshinsite.blogspot.com) which was LONG overdue... But any who, enough with the "tools for the incompetent"... I shall not leave you like that again...

Here's Phonte from Little Brother's Movie in a Minute *Special Edition* on the film Good Hair... I almost couldn't breathe when he started talking about "dick weave." But like with most things Phonte' discusses, there is a great message amidst all the hilarity...ENJOY! :)


Movie in a minute (c) Phontigallo

In between calling Kanye West a coward, Phonte of Little Brother takes the time out to do movie reviews... Watch as he sums up some movies creating quite a buzz in a minute or less...

*WARNING, most contain spoilerssss*

Gran Torino


Lakeview Terrace


Notorious


Seven Pounds


Slumdog Millionaire


The Wrestler

Those with self-esteem need not apply (c) Phontizzle



The 'Jump-off' post got several rave reviews so I've decided to follow it up with discussion on the 'After 9 Relationship.' What is the After 9 relationship you ask? It could be a situation that you are in right now and just don't know it. The After 9 relationship is a figurative relationship that only exists in your head. Meaning, to the person that you THINK you're in this relationship with, it doesn't exist...


Some tell-tale signs that you're in an After 9 Relationship...
1. You check your call log and realize the nigga has NEVER used a daytime minute on you.
2. Your text message inbox runneth over, but your incoming call list is lacking representation from 'your boo.'
3. You have never been introduced to any of your significant others friends.
4. His idea of a date is a blockbuster night followed by '15 minutes of passion on his momma's futon.' (c) Phontigallo
5. You two are rarely/never seen together in public places...
6. You are very familiar with the late night menu at the local 24 hour eateries... This is primarily because the only time you two actually grab a meal together is after normal dinner hours and you have a $5 limit.
7. You have never spent the night over your significant others house or vice versa.
8. His idea of quality time is coming over after he gets out of the club.
9. You call your 'boo,' get the voicemail and then he responds with a text message...

So ladies... if more than one of these signs apply to you... 'You are NOT his GIRLFRIEND' (c) Chris Rock. Don't lie to yourself any longer and accept the role you played in this deception.

Thanks,

Management.

This is the last call, for the jump-off express (c) Phonte'

Coon's status...'Face it, every man's girl at one point in time has been another man's jump-off'

Me: I disagree with ur status
Coon: lol...on what grounds?
Me: It doesn't apply to me haha. Hence, I am the flaw in your argument
Me: Hahahaha
Coon: lol...when it comes to you i'd bet money on the fact that my status doesn't apply... but for others sometimes the jumpoff doesn't know she's the jumpoff
Coon: (attempts to argue with a future lawyer, lol)
Coon: aight well, maybe not the jumpoff, but she's at least in some other nigga's camera phone (c) corey holcomb, lol
Me: Hahahahahahahahaha. But what is the true definition of a jump-off?
Coon: any chic that gets a call around 12am for non emergency purposes, lol
Me: Ahhhhh haha
Me: But r u still the jump-off if you get the call and ignore em?
Coon: yeah, if u don't get jumped on
Coon: u can't possibly be a jump
Me: Cause I get calls all the time, but I don't act on em... lol
Me: I call those 'After 9' relationships
Me: If a nigga can't waste a couple daytime minutes on you...
Me: You're the jump-off, sowwie
Coon: damn, this status is causing an uproar
Coon: people hittin me up on facebook messenger pissed
Me: Ahhhhhh haha I love it
Coon: a couple sensitive niggas is on here like...thats not true. Oh nigga, when u go outta town for an extended amount of time, don't think yo boo is keepin it gully, lol
Me: That's cause deep down they know their girl fits in that jump-off category. They just don't wanna admit it
Coon: and its prolly a nigga who had sex with his girl within the first two days of knowing each other, lol
Me: Yeah, just tryin to convince himself that she's not a skank skeeza... Poor sap. You know how easy it was to hit. It wasn't cause you're 'special...' Come on nigga
Coon: i mean, i wifed a jumpoff, so a nigga does have experience, lol trust me, i'm qualified on this
Me: What happened as a result of this 'wifing?'
Coon: multiple std tests, lol
Coon: a mild threat of pregnancy
Coon: a negative test
Coon: a hint of relief
Coon: then singleness
Coon: lol
Me: Well I hope u learned the error of ur ways
Coon: oh, trust me, i have
Me: You must have a keen eye
Me: Hoes nowadays are even disguising themselves in the 'respectable woman' uniform
Coon: a keen eye, a stash of condoms, some spermicide, and a hint of luck
Me: You must stay strong, and be observant for the tell tale hoe signs
Coon: but see, i made the mistake
Coon: jumpoff came thru, and GTD'd (got the draws) second night
Coon: i thought it was me (c) bbd and ended up wifin her cuz i thought she was cool, lol